Front Page















Little-Known Facts About the Democrat Primary
March 11, 2004

By James L. Hirsen, J.D., Ph.D.
contributor to

Did you know that...

  • John Kerry was considering choosing Hillary Clinton as a running mate until one of his staffers gave him a postcard of Fort Marcy Park.

  • When John Edwards talks about two Americas, he's really talking about the one that's inside the ambulance and the one that's chasing it.

  • Dennis Kucinich declined an endorsement from Pee Wee Herman.

  • Rumors about John Kerry using botox are false. He does, however, have his mouth regularly washed out with soap.

  • A rancher in Texas made the mistake of having his radio on during Howard Dean's Iowa speech. His herd was last seen stampeding in Southern Venezuela.

  • After leaving the race, Carol Moseley Braun landed a gig in Vegas as a Tina Turner impersonator.

  • One of John Kerry's speechwriters was let go for including in a prepared text the line "the economy's in a lurch."

  • Wesley Clark has been hired as a spokesman for the National Fiber Council.

  • The Queer Eye guys went to do a makeover on John Edwards and found out there was nothing to do.

  • Despite being around people in the 1970s who took psychedelic drugs at anti-war protests, John Kerry says he tried them but never swallowed.

  • To get Howard Dean to drop out of the race, Donald Trump was persuaded to call him on his cell and say, "You're fired."

  • John Kerry has abandoned his "Bring It On" slogan and is now muttering the words "I Take It Back."

Reproduced with the permission of . All rights reserved

Copyright © 2004
James L. Hirsen, J.D., Ph.D.

All Rights Reserved